I LOVE YOU
Todd Dewett | August 12, 2020
|We should say ‘I love you” often, right? Some say if you do, it means nothing. I suppose I understand, but people are lonely creatures. They need to hear it, so let’s consider another possibility.
Saying ‘I love you’ more frequently would be a good thing. It need not be reserved for only your partner or children. It is okay to say it to a best friend, or just a good friend. It will not become meaningless. It’s a flexible phrase that reeks of acceptance and positivity, and it morphs to the level it’s needed and intended quite easily.
It only loses value when you don’t mean it and say it just because you feel obligated. If you mean it – it’s magic. In fact, it might be the most powerful free gift you can give to anyone.
Some people might resist sharing this sentiment due to the fear of being misunderstood. They don’t want to be perceived as overstepping. Sometimes it seems like such a heavy notion, reserved only for heavy moments with heavy intentions. Nope. The word can and does sing different notes as needed in many situations. It moves effortlessly from light-hearted and whimsical to serious and heavy, all with the same underlying theme: the expression of genuine affection.
It’s also possible that you might be feeling not worthy of the word, thus you don’t like to say it. It references such a pure idea, though you are not pure. Be clear – love is not reserved for the perfect, for such a thing does not exist. It’s about showing the ultimate respect for a thing in spite of its imperfection. If we were all perfect, we’d all be perfectly love-worthy all the time – thus the term would have no meaning. Say it! Never assume it’s implied.
Here’s the reality – our loneliness demands that we say it more often. Humans can be quite lonely. We can be fearful and feel small and scared. Believe it or not, finding success in life requires the full you. The confident and the scared parts. That’s authenticity. You need to feel love and show love in order to embrace this reality. Feeling loved fuels us. It helps us survive loneliness, maintain a positive perspective, and ultimately, it helps reignite our imagination and motivation.
If we were to use the expression more, our fears would fade. Used sincerely, it will not lose its value. Let me start: I love you. Seriously, you give me a career in thinking, speaking, writing, and in general trying to help others. I don’t think ‘I love you’ is strong enough! Will you do it with me? Say it more. Say it to your friends of all shapes and sizes, your family, etc. It may not be as appropriate at work, but who knows. As long as you mean it, it’s all upside – a sharing of gratitude and joy all mixed together in an impossibly useful way. How can this be wrong?
One final thought. As you learn to use the word or related phrases more generously, don’t be surprised if you find yourself the recipient of the same. Sure, life’s not perfect, but isn’t that the point? Embracing this idea is one way to take a step in a better direction, and you can begin just by using three little words.
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Loneliness: Here are three simple steps that can help anyone fight loneliness. First, admit it’s happening and choose not to overindulge. Look at the calendar and give yourself a very small number of days to feel this way. Then, it’s time to get to work. Next, start connecting to positivity in all its forms: friends, family, hobbies, inspiring music, and videos, etc. Consume more positivity to feel more positive. Don’t forget gratitude – when a person helps you feel connected, valued, and positive, say thanks. They’ve given you a gift. Finally, realize you’re not alone. The best way to do this is by helping others. It might be community volunteer work, a friend, your sibling, a neighbor – call them, go see them, lend a helping hand. As you realize that they too face loneliness and challenges, you gain perspective, you cope, and you feel more in control. Of course, if for any reason things feel too heavy, don’t hesitate to ask for help. For example, you might call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800 273 8255. Or, use your favorite internet browser to find an appropriate support group (live or online). Do it – be proactive. Feeling better is often one conversation way.